beautiful people

Spent all night crying. Fuck.

My nose is runny from all the tears. I look like someone just slapped me. I’m a mess. It’s just like it’s always me.

My Confession.

Okay I find it hard to tell you how I really feel because I’m scared I’ll tell you and you won’t look at me the same. There’s just this intense fear that I’ll tell you the truth and you’ll want to back away. Idk. It’s crazy because you’ve put up with me for what, 4 years now? But it’s normal for someone to be afraid of losing the ones they care about, right? All I’m saying is, I have so much I want to tell you but I’m to afraid to express it. I can’t just come out with everything all at once because I tend to ramble like I am now and mix things up and just not come out with it right. But, if you’d let me, I want to show you how much you mean to me. Before I do that though, I need to know that I’m not wasting my time. I need to know that I’m not putting myself on the line right now for nothing. I want to be the girl you lay with when you’re tired, I wanna be the girl you talk to when you need cheering up simply because it makes you forget about everything, even if just for a little while. I want to be the girl that you miss, that you get jealous over when other guys talk to her. I want you to want me too, but I can deal with it you don’t want that. If you tell me you want us to stay being friends then I’ll deal with that. All I want is you to tell me the truth. It sucks more to not know, than have someone tell you the truth. That way I know I have to forget about it, instead of holding on to some false hope bullshit. Idk, it just sucks not knowing because then you think you’re just gonna be a fucking fuck up.

»I sent it to the person it was meant for